Amazing Creature

You “fixed” my hair today

With a paintbrush

You were very focused

And kept telling me it was not done yet.

You strummed your guitar today

You told mama to dance

We jumped around like corn kernals being popped,

Laughing.

We got under the covers in mama’s bed today

“I want some covers too…” you said.

I covered you up in blankets and we snuggled

You put your cheek on my cheek.

I picked you up from school today

You ran to me at top speed with arms open wide

Smiling, tackling hugging

I whispered in your ear “I love you so much.”

I was resting today

You asked me if I was scared of the smoke detector, like you are

You asked me if I wanted you to cover it with tape

Like dada did for you.

You ran around the island tonight a million times

Every time you made it around

I tackled you

I hugged you

I kissed you.

Thank you. Thank you.

You amazing creature.

Sex Part II

The kids are asleep

The dishes are done

All I want is to rest

Do you really want some?

I have not showered in days

That’s baby poop under my nail

You really want all that?

Hashtag sexy wife fail.

What’s on Netflix?

Can we cuddle instead?

You can rub my back

While I snore in the bed.

I can give you a quick hand job

Would that do the trick?

I’ll just reach down your pants

Don’t worry, it will be quick.

Do I want a favor?

Yes, yes please!

A long hot shower and some sleep?

Oh honey, you’re such a tease.

I love you sweet man

Really I do

But sex sounds awful

Boo fucking hoo.

Toddler

You’re an asshole

I mean, really

If I had friends like you

I would not need enemies

Living with you is like waiting for a bomb to drop

…every minute

of every day

And it does, on my head.

You whine

You cry

You whine some more

And then you cry some more

You want what you want

And you must have it

Now

You are like a drug addict in need of a hit

Your hit is whatever whim crosses your undeveloped brain

You must have it

That car, that toy, your turn on the swing, your favorite song…

NOW.

There is no one minute from now

There is no future

Just NOW

You can't have that thing?

Cue bomb

I want to tell you to shut the eff up;

But that would not be very mom-like

If we were lovers, our relationship would be called an abusive one

With you the abuser

And me the person you loves you so much I cannot leave

All of this, every day

Like groundhog day, spinning out over and over

But babe

You just flipped the switch

And in this moment

You look up through your tears

And throw your little fat arms around me

And tell me you love me

Now MY heart is bursting with crazy love for you

And all is forgiven, you sweet little asshole.