It was a couple days before the First Annual St. Clair Talent Show and I was hearing grumblings: “I don’t have any talents.” “Do I have to do a talent?” “This is too much pressure for a vacation!” “Leave it to Beth…”
I had the crazy idea to plan the first ever St. Clair Talent Show this year - to be held at the Outer Banks during our family reunion. It seemed like a fantastic idea at the time. Doesn’t that sound like fun - to let your talents shine and impress your family with talents they never knew you had? However, two days before the talent show I was beginning to wonder if my grandiose plan to release the creative genius in everyone on the planet (starting with my family) was turning out to be a bad idea. Were people just not that into it?
So the day of, I (hesitantly) asked (more like mumbled) to each person “what is the name of your talent?” I needed to put together a list of acts so Emcee Scott could announce them. I was half expecting some sarcastic one-liners but to my surprise, every single family member (all 17) had a talent. And in some cases, people had two! I noticed they were having fun coming up with creative/silly names for their talents and as I looked around, I noticed that people were practicing.
Clearly the energy had shifted…people were excited (whew!)
As the show got underway, my brother in law “Emcee Scott” indicated that the only ground rule was that we had to support each and every act through applause…easy enough. Oh, and quick update to the scoring: the “raw talent” evaluation criteria changed to “raw passion” because that is what really matters anyways. As the acts got underway, I was like a proud parent. Each and every act was creative beyond what I could have imagined. Here is a snapshot:
Body Tricks: I was equally impressed by mom’s ability to stick her entire fist in her mouth (and provide a step by step instructional for anyone crazy enough to try it) as I was with my brother Cameron’s ability to “pop” several of his body parts, including his ears (serious, he has big ears).
Song and Dance: Amy and I made up a “St. Clair Slide” dance that is now sweeping the nation (What? You have not heard of it? Your town is very isolated and you need to consider moving to a “hipper” area). The little ones all sang songs, including my 2-year old nephew who performed Twinkle Twinkle Little Star song …er, until he got distracted half-way through and decided he had more important things to do, like visit his crush auntie Hannah. Cameron’s girlfriend Hannah put on quite a show rapping about she first met Cameron. Key Line: “I am not so sure about this Cameron St. Clair!” And Scott’s rendition of Sweet Caroline in Pig Latin: one word, impressive. My uncle and cousin put on a performance that is a bit tough to describe. It included acting like they were playing the piano, hitting the keys with a certain body part to remain unnamed (pretty stuff funny, actually).
Saturday Night Live: My cousins put on a deadpan performance of Delicious Dish which had everyone laughing. They even incorporated Cameron’s red sauce from the night prior (nice touch ladies). And my dad…wow. He put on a 10-minute one-man performance as an obscure SNL character Leonard Pirth-Garnell that reviewed “really, really” bad movies. To appreciate my dad’s performance, you must understand that my dad does not like performing at all. In fact, I am pretty sure he despises it. At a Christmas event growing up he was pulled on stage to be Rudolph - expected to dance around in a red nose. I remember being embarrassed for him because he clearly hated every second. And here he was – doing a smart, witty performance of a actor based on a script he wrote himself.
Other Fun Stuff: My brother Tommy and his wife Marra did a mind-reading performance. While I am pretty sure that Marra does not actually read minds, I do not know how they did this trick! (seriously guys, hints?) Reading my poem at Busboys was so fun, I decided to read a few more. When reading a poem called “Hello, Love” I looked at my sister, who had tears streaming down her face. That caused me to tear up. I felt vulnerable and alive…and happy to share my feelings about this with my family.
So, I would say that the first ever St. Clair Talent Show was a success….I cannot wait for the next one (um, did I hear a grumble?)
Ode to a Burrito
You know who
You Are
You handsome……devil you.
There is no need to be coy.
Let us not
Waste time
with Games.
Give me
What you know
I Want
What I Deserve
What I Crave.
With every taste of you
I want more.
I will not stop
Until I have
All of You
Because with you
I am never Full.
A Vampire Dilemma
Just one bite, Vampire
My Love
And I would be with you
For, eternity?
But what type of vampire would
I Be
To leave daylight behind
And Embrace the Night.
I always keep the night light on
You know that
Does it have the same effect on vampires as the sun?
And my Parents
They go to bed so early
I may never see them.
But…That might be OK.
The real bummer
I just bought a
Temper pedic mattress
And I know
It would never fit in that custom coffin you built for me
Really
And all that BLOOD
Biting into flesh
Over
And
Over.
You know how much blood makes me queasy, LOVE.
I once fainted when my sister stubbed her toe.
And my heart is so big
Where would all my love go?
Maybe I could keep a partial heart?
Two thirds, perhaps?
And While I love YOU
Let’s be honest
I don’t really like your vampire friends
Would an eternity with YOU
Mean an eternity with them?
Ah my VAMPIRE Love,
I Cannot
Should not
As much as I do Love You
Sigh
Break ups are so hard
Honey, why are your fangs out?
Hello, Love
I am more me
Than I have ever been
When I am
with you.
Your smile
Fills me
Your knowing
Of me
Makes me strong
Your loving arms
Could Fit the entire
World
Your Heart,
The Ocean
You have
A deep knowing
Of You
That pulls
Me in.
And you choose me.
Thank you for
Seeing me
All of me
And loving
Every fiber
We are now one
My eye is your eye
My Arm, Your Arm
My heart, Your Heart.
We have known
Each other
For eternities
Before
and will
After
This Life
How I
Cannot wait to
meet You
To greet you.
I will open my arms.
And say
Hello, love
Welcome home.
